Friday, October 29, 2010

Dime Divas

Keri Hilson - "Turn My Swag On"

"My friends have often told me that I should model", Anna Szabo told a press conference in Budapest, "and they have frequently suggested that I should go for beauty pageants. So I applied for several contests, but I was always rejected at the entry stage, because the organisers invariably ruled out anyone with a criminal record. That's why I was so attracted to the Miss Mafia beauty contest. Because here, for once, my considerable criminal convictions can be used to my advantage."

Explaining the rules of the Miss Mafia contest, one of the competition organisers added that "contestants can only enter the competition after submitting a police mug shot to us, to prove they have a valid criminal background. As well as the usual statistics of hip size, bust size, weight, personality and poise, our judges are looking for other statistics, such as criminal charges, underworld associates, gang membership, and time spent behind bars. After a preliminary competition to weed out unsuitable contestants, the final contest will be held in the 8th district, in a bar that was once bombed out in a Mafia clan fight. We have thieves, fraudsters, gang members, bank robbers, and swindlers taking part as contestants and judges, so it should be an interesting night."

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